Address by Elizabeth Willis

Author:Elizabeth Willis
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780819570994
Publisher: Wesleyan University Press

(R-13th District Florida)

When I announced my support

for the “Stop Sex Trafficking” Act

I dressed as tastefully as I could

without compromising my syndicated

cleavage. When I announced

my support for this Act, I was not

denouncing sexual acts per se,

even when performed for political

advantage. When I denounced

my support for sex trafficking,

I was flanked by a Republican

from Ohio with whom I was

not having sex and a Democrat

from New York, whose assets

I had eyed only briefly.

What kind of act was this?

Though educated in Switzerland

I have no understanding whatsoever

of clouds or of cloud-painting.

Meteorology means observing

the natural advantages of sunlight

between the elevator and the congressional

Hummer. I prefer to be shot

from the lower right when

speaking to a male interlocutor.

I prefer to be considered a serious

fox by those who can ignore

my network affiliations.

Sooner or later I’ll be

sliding to the other side.

I’ll be in the Senate

like a tongue in a bottle.

I have never attempted to take

responsibility for the space shuttle’s

successful lunch, though I am a firm

advocate of low-carb monosyllabic

government and have committed adultery

with unemployment figures and have enjoyed

a pun or two of my own.

When I came out against terrorism

I was not “coming out.”

When I came out

against the sex trade

it was not about me

it was about money.

When it was not about money

it was about Congress.

When it was not about

the sanctity of the House

it was about the future

of the Senate and when it was

not about that, it was about

Dynasty, which I recommend

in reruns, and when

it was not about family executive

privilege, it was about

real estate. It was about

running. It was about time

we had the kind of coup

we’ve been giving to the rest of

our friends, it’s time we

photographed ourselves

next to African American

constituents, it’s time we talked

about freedom of religion for

marginalized fundamentalist

Christians. It’s time

to “revitalize our economy”

by clicking on Diversity.

It’s time to break ground

with our brownest neighbors.

It’s time we called our gulf

the Mediterranean of the

Americas. It’s time to toast

and be toasted. To clink

and run, to veritably jingle.

It’s time to expand homeland

security through terror.

It’s time to honor our veterans

with combat-inspired

video games distributed free

to wheelchairs everywhere.

It’s time we referred to their

poorest hospitals as

Liberty Housing.

It’s time for all of us

to “Protect Our Children”

from easy access to Medicaid,

prescription drugs, and the protracted

violence of a liberal education.

Homelessness has been so well

fixed that everyone I know

has at least one somewhere else,

a home in the sand

and one in the bush.

You who can recognize

an easy link, a family plan,

a vindication, a meal ticket,

a personal payback when you see one,

be sure to check out

the great White House page

on the benefits of CAFTA.

When Florida says no

to drilling, it’s not because we

don’t like oil, it’s just our way

of sending a message

from my gulf to yours.

You’d better think twice

before you write this down

because I’ve got friends

who’ve got friends

in the IRS and aviation

who know how to read.

You’d better decide that

we’ve never had sex

that the mic didn’t work

that you got it all wrong

that I only resemble

the fox you describe

that all of us were acting

the only way we knew how.

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